LiLo, Brit And Paris Update

June 22, 2008

Hey, it has been a while since we checked in on our old buddies, Lindsay, Britney and Paris, and, given how out of control they all were this time a year ago, we figured it would be a good time to play catch up.

Has LiLo actually been lying low?

Can Brit ever quit the ditz?

Is Paris the Heiress still prone to embarrass?

Their progress report for the first half of calendar 2008 shapes up as follows:

JANUARY

Britney held for psychiatric evaluation after her locked-bathroom standoff with police; denied a month's visitation rights with two sons after her courtroom no-show; her car's impounded; fallout with long-time manager Sam Lutfi; sued by a fashion consultant for breach of contract.

Lindsay falls off wagon by swigging from a bottle of champagne during New Year's celebrations in an Italian club; sentenced to morgue duty as part of her DUI-related community service.

FEBRUARY

Paris' The Hottie and The Nottie was released in theatres -- not a crime in and of itself unless you happened to be one of the three people who paid to see it.

MARCH

Britney ordered to pay $375,000 in K-Fed's legal bills; banned from a West Hollywood hotspot because of ensuing media circus; lands guest spot on How I Met Your Mother.

Paris injures chin when swarmed by paparazzi in a Czech Republic restaurant.

APRIL

Paris banned from a Hyatt Hotel in Russia after writing "Paris Moscow 2008" on expensive wallpaper with black marker; she and boyfriend Benji Madden accused of running over a paparazzo's foot.

Lindsay sued by a former bodyguard for $55,000 in non-payments; sobriety again called into question after spotted drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails at a party hosted by her "very close" friend, DJ Samantha Ronson.

Britney's Mercedes rear-ends a Nissan on an L.A. freeway.

MAY

Lindsay is sued by a college student who claims she stole her $11,000 white mink jacket; accused by a model of stealing clothes out of her closet during a party; DUI mug shot used for an anti-alcohol campaign; dropped from Manson Girls movie; plays a former high-school bully on Ugly Betty; hospitalized after asthma attack on plane.

Britney makes second How I Met Your Mother appearance; rear-ends a Ford Explorer in Beverly Hills.

JUNE

Britney considered for Emmy nomination; L.A. prosecutors refuse to pursue another paparazzo's claim that she ran over his foot.

Lindsay cancels upcoming 22nd birthday bash; shows up to the set on time for her new movie, Labor Pains.

Paris in production on her new MTV reality series, Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

All in all, pretty tame stuff, wouldn't you say?

It would almost appear as if Paris, in particular, may have actually turned over a new leaf after her summer in the slammer.

C'mon, girls -- you've still got half a year to up your game, but you had better watch your backs.

Because Amy Winehouse would be happy to pick up the slack.